Cold night and Bud Light

So just to get something down here for today, I'll scribble out this little blog.

Not much of a special day today - typical Tuesday. Work - not too busy, not too slow. Typical Tuesday dinner at the palace. Couple of Bud Lights with a canuck afterwords. Home by 9:30. A snack or two later, in bed by 10:30.

Interesting quote for the day:

"Experience is the name some give to their mistakes."

Sometimes makes me stop and think - how experienced am I? In some respects not enough - not for the lack of making mistakes, but for the lack of the opportunity to. Kinda like the quote, "you miss all the shots you don't take." On a court I was never shy to let fly from anywhere, but in life I have never mirrored that. There have been plenty of times I've looked back and wished I'd done different....are those mistakes? Is that the experience mentioned? Hard to say. Perspective and hindsight being what they are, the judgment of those questions isn't an easy task. Should I bother myself with them now? No. Should I choose a more reasonable time to consider them - yes.

Cold weather is a-comin' with highs of -4 for Saturday in the forecast. And yes, that is -4 degrees Fahrenheit not Celcius. And yes, I said highs not lows. As the Beach Boys said, "Fun Fun Fun tell your daddy takes the snowboard away" (ok, so that was modified just a smidge.

Good night.....

Discovering Teddy Roosevelt...

What Sundays are all about.

Sleeping as late as I want, (ok, so not that 7:30 is really late by any means, but hey, it's as late as I wanted)

Making a nice breakfast (actually, since the fridge had a multitude of eggs and bread, I beat together 8 eggs, 2 cups milk, some syrup and vanilla and poured that over about 3/4 a loaf of bread in a cake pan - baked it for 45 minutes and let it cool. Good stuff - half oven pancake, half french toast)

Reading the Sunday paper including a story on how Duluth's school population is down 25% since I was in high school and thus causing a need to close school properties that are currently running at less than peak capacity. Another story by a friend about the upcoming election for the local tribe's next chief was enlightening of the successes of a casino economy.

Some work on the house followed - another feather in my cap - adding to the laminate flooring, tile laying/grouting, painting, rough carpentry, drywalling, taping/mudding and electric, I can now add finish carpentry. Did the first coat of polyurethaning today. Second tomorrow and, if all goes well, third on Tuesday.

Back home in time to catch a quick nap as Tiger wrapped up his 7th consecutive PGA win - that guy is pretty good.

Awoke, cooked up a little dinner and headed over to the local B and N (1.25 miles away) With the goal of locating a book by Andy Andrews, I was unsuccessful, but did run into both the Thomas Freidman section and an account of Teddy Roosevelt's life. Found a good chair and almost two hours later (at closing time) was ingrained in the early life of President Roosevelt.

Since I'm, let's say, frugal, I haven't purchased the book yet - but plan on returning tomorrow for another couple chapters in the life of a president that was serving his 2nd term 100 years ago today. Interesting story, on New Year's Day 1907, President Roosevelt shook hands with 8,150 individuals wishing them a prosperous new year. Most of those were common folk who lined up for hours at the White House in order to have the priveldge of shaking the hand of an amazingly popular president.

I've only made it to age 10 in the chronological account of Teddy's life, but am very much looking forward to the remainder of the story.

At the age of 27 it makes me a bit sad that I haven't read more about some of this country's historical figures and founding fathers. Those that have steered the course of the nation are for the most part just names to me. I learned more about Teddy Roosevelt tonight in those couple hours than I had in the rest of my life. It humbles me to think of all the information on the shelves of that store - and all the information I'll never have the chance to know.

Home again by 9:05, finish up the load of laundry, savor a piece of cake and glass of milk, get a fire prepared in the woodstove and a short blog. 10:15 now and time for bed at the eve of another week's dawn. Life isn't too shabby.

Vodka, Swedes and Natural Gas

As I sit in the office on another slow January afternoon - I grab today's Wall Street Journal and start paging through.

The first headline to grab my attention - "As Vodka Sales Skyrocket, Many Newcomers Pour In" - falls on page one (although below the fold). As a vodka-sour and grey goose on the rocks consumer, I'm obviously interested in this story....if nothing else than to have some useless knowledge for later tonight. So, I never would have guessed that in the last 5 years there have been 260 new vodka brands introduced into the US. I wonder how many made it past the first batch. Smirnoff sold 21.4 million 9 liter cases in 2005 to Absolut's 9.2 million. The next few drop off significantly after that. The article stated margins for top end vodka products could be as high as 40% (hmm, just like concrete - kidding...my god, 40%...that would be rediculous for us) Finally - as a grey goose fan, I was unaware of the fact that they were bought out by Bacardi for $2 billion dollars. Amazing.

Next up was a small story titled, "Study of Super-Size Diet Yields Surprises in Swedes". As a partial Swede and regular eater, this on interested me. Apparently a Swedish researcher decided to put a little more science behind the method taken by Morgan Spurlock's "Super Size Me" experiment and movie from 2004 (a rediculously anti-fast food movie from the start). Fredrik Nystrom (as a sidebar, I'm guessing there are about 1,000,000 Frederik Nystrom's in Sweden) put 18 healthy volunteers through a similar 1 month, fast food only, little exercise diet. A wide range of results were found, some near Mr. Spurlock's results, but others with little to modest change. Mr. Nystrom's comment - "In cold areas, people might have adapted more to cope with temperature and be more likely to burn off excess calories." Hmm, I think the local northland McD's could spin that into an advertising campaign.

Finally..."Natural Gas Slides Amid High Supply". Good I say. My furnace, water heater, stovetop and oven are all natural gas. Last month I burned a lot of wood in a small basement woodstove to supplement the gas heat and actually had a 33% lower gas/water bill in December than in November. So when the WSJ reports a 7% drop in natural gas futures, I say, good for the market....and good for me.

time flies...

so it's been almost a week since I've last posted. have i been that busy? no, not really. well, kinda i guess. sunday and monday we finished the suspended ceiling in junior's new bedroom. tuesday and wednesday dinner at the castle. thursday dinner at the nest. work 7-5 each of those days. so, yea, i guess i've been busy.

social life? um....no. just work and family and work at home. been meaning to get to barnes and noble one of these nights....hasn't happened. plan to get out somewhere this weekend - hiking maybe, even if it's just behind the house.

gave myself a deadline of feb 1 to hit the gym hard again. been slipping lately in the eating right category. getting lazy, feeling out of shape, not taking care of myself. i can see how people fall into a viscious circle of not being happy and then not caring. i'm not gonna do that.

back to the gym three times a week minimum starting in feb. screw the rest of it - work, house work, family and the gym will be my life. it'll be good again. under control - the way i like it. get back in shape physically and mentally and be ready for the spring.

looking forward to it.

seinfeld-sota fab four

so for my first pure seinfeld post i'm taking a look back at some of the actors that made the show what it was.

well, really, i should preface all this by saying that i'm a pretty big fan - not that there's anything wrong with that. i'm well educated and read, but choose to enjoy a good seinfeld re-run over the news anyday - once again, not that there's anything wrong with that. i'll ramble on about something either seinfeld based that relates to my life or something life related that parallels to seinfeld. most of this - as is with my life - will fall somewhere in the gray area between the realities as they are and the realities as they are remembered.

so first off - we all know the major players. jerry. julia. michael. jason. we shall call them the fab four. not to be confused with all the other fab fours and fives (or for the alliterationally-impaired, sixes) that seem to be proclaimed as soon as a group makes the smallest accomplishment. this was a true fab four - right off the bat.

as a sidenote - should i refer to myself and siblings as the fab four from now on? sure we haven't done anything even remotely 'faboulous' at this point in our lives other than manage not to kill each other as teens - but the american way must be to trash talk about such things - so i'm also referring to myself and siblings as the fab four....i see no way this will get confusing later.

heck, let's make it confusing now. since my blog is read by just over no people - technically for you non-math majors, that would be one and i'm not quite sure if i can count myself as a regular reader, but hey, i dare you to respond and tell me differently - i'm waiting.....ok, good we all agree with me. anyway, back to my statement, i'm going to make an executive decision to shift the focus of this to looking into the parallels between my siblings and the 'seinfeld four' (think chinese restaurant episode and that guys accent there...hilarious)

so, hmmm. first off, the obvious. each group has three men and one woman. i'll place the older of my younger brothers in the spot of jerry - the other brother as the hipster doofus with myself taking the spot of caaa-stanza. elaine of course would be played by my sister.

how do we compare? as for myself - other than the college education, i immediately see a number of similarities with georgie. we both see like bats without our corrective lenses. i've never purchased women's frames, but then again - life ain't over quite yet. we both, at times, would rather be away from our parents than in their company. thinking about this now, i'm almost surprised i've never had the brassiere conversation at the dinner table ala george and frank. we both like sports - although i feel i'm quite a bit more athletic than george - and i always would have loved working for a major league organization in some capacity (assistant to the traveling secretary? excellent) and finally - at least off the top of my head - we both have trouble with women. but let me state for the record, i've never killed off a fiance. (although, i'm not gonna lie to you, i've been known to remove a shirt before taking care of some important business - if you know what i mean)

how about the hipster doofus and the younger bro you ask? well, they both seem to enjoy the, let's call it, easy life. a quote of, 'his whole life is a fantasy camp' comes to mind on this one. both seem to enjoy their spirits - 'i suck 'em down like coke-a-cola' - 'here's to feeling good all the time'. and both are known for their days on the golf course (with more conservative clothing being sported by the younger sota. and as a strange parallel i might develop more in the future, they both have shall we say big boned friends that they tend to get into trouble with (although one of those would be a postman, while the other would be more of a post)

brother #2 is maybe the worst match of the fab four to the fab four (see, not confusing at all there - perfectly clear) but he does live in quite the clean house, knows and dates many women and finds plenty of small, meaningless reasons to get rid of said women. he also is the outgoing, some might say, comedic one. his residence is the gathering place for the other characters and he enjoys his parents and his 'uncle leo' with a restrainment/patience not displayed by caa-stanza.

finally - sis and elaine. both educated, career-oriented businesswomen. both with their share of ex-boyfriends. both with a tendency of what i'll call overindulgence at holiday time company gatherings. not sure how sis does with witchy woman, but i'd bet it's comparable if not surpassing. dark haired - bagel and big salad loving - slightly devious. this is a great comparison....possibly the best of the four. (or i'm typing that to avoid thinking about how many things george and i have in common - and no, i'm neither fat not balding nor living with my parents nor unemployed)

so whether we match up to them because of us or because the guys wrote those parts to try and cover the 'every man' charachterization, i don't know. i'd hope for the latter, but know that if i did some internal digging, the former is probably the case.

in a later blog i'll look into how some of our friends, parents and co-workers might fit in the sota bizaro world that is my daily life.

good night all....

A-Rod, Beckham and Stern

if i once again needed to be reminded of the rediculousness of the american society, the recent howard stern and david beckham announcements did the trick.

stern, working for sirius satellite radio under a $500 million dollar contract, was recently awarded an $83 million dollar bonus. what does stern do you ask? no, he's not a world class surgeon, nor even a super high powered lawyer....not even an east coast shortstop. no...mr stern earns his living essentially as a radio dj. oh yea, and that $500 million contract is good for 5 years. yep - you can do the math, $100 million dollars per year. to break it down even more - that's about $274,000 per day. (before that bonus and taxes of course) even latrell sprewell would have to agree that howard is probably able to feed his family on that. so, you might ask, what type of show does stern preside over? not a good one in my opinion - at least not the kind that promotes any type of positive values for his masses. but what does that say about america? everyone wants their entertainment - and apparently lots of people don't give a second thought to the type of, let's call it, 'stuff' they allow themselves to be entertained by.

how about becks? after a little googling i learned that his contract will only be worth $50 over 5 years. only. ahh, now i can sleep at night. even ten a year seems pretty crazy to me considering that not very many of the big sports guys make that much. i'm not sure how mls soccer can support a bunch of guys making that much money - and i know he's the only one so far, but there'll be more - just watch.

then there's a-rod. funny how people seem to forget about his contract after a few years. yep, he's still making the big money....$25.6 this year to be (pretty close to) exact. to play baseball....in new york its funny how kids all across the country grew up dreaming of playing the game....and for that reason, to play the game, not for the money. i wonder if the kids growing up today still want to play it for the game...or if for the money.

am i jealous of these guys....only a-rod just because he plays ball for a living. the others - heck no. i'm just sick about the path that our society has let us travel down. enough venting - time for grey's....

Caaa-stanza

Cruise control napping...

A tour of 35 from Duluth to Bloomington in the new ride. Lucky I stayed awake the whole time - almost pulled us into either 1) neighboring traffic or 2) the ditch many, many times since i almost fell asleep about a dozen times. In past days - such as college days driving across exciting northern WI in the pitch black of night - I would have either been singing my lungs out (doubtful you'd want to hear that - although I might be good, no one really knows) or hanging my head out the window trying to freeze myself back awake to avoid the cruise control napping. In an airplane - probably not so big a deal with the whole autopilot - but in a chevrolet, yea, a big deal.....just ask my cousin, he hit a school once during a nap. Anyways - couldn't open the window or sing since dad was doing a nice job keeping me awake by taking his own nap in the passenger seat (never mind the fact that it was only 3:30 in the afternoon and I was tired as hell for no good reason).

So, I made it through, got to the W/E split and was golden from there since at that point it's fun to drive the minnesota autobahn and keep up with the cities crazies. We hit downtown and the traffic stopped. Nothing like using 35 dubbs for a parking lot. After about a half hour of stooper and crawl, I was quite happy I'd chosen a couple years ago to take work in Duluth rather than Pittsburgh, Chicago or MSP. Does anyone understand the concept of why people feel the need to change lanes back and forth in this type of traffic? Like that one row is really moving any faster - it's not. I watched a guy in a souped up 'burban go back and forth and honk and merge and I swear he lost spots compared to if he'd stayed put....i just don't get it.

Finally we hit some relatively open road south of 494 and cruise into the holiday inn just off the freeway. After check in - shoot back up the road to Bennigans to meet up with a salesman for dinner. Excellent food and drinks. We all order a drink and out come the 2 for 1s....unexpectedly. Gotta love that. A nice glass of red with a steak and salmon combo with potatoe later and we're on our way back.

Not looking forward so much to the overnight snoring (not mine of course - that'd be my dad) - but that's why I now travel with earplugs (yea that's right - that's the college education paying off).

Big day tomorrow - get to learn how to be a better foam lego block salesman i guess. Better rest up (ok, maybe not -- but some good sleep would be great for me right now).

Another day.....

a long day.....not that it was bad, just long. did lots of online newspaper reading this morning and caught up (to a point) on the day's news. nothing like the perspective gained from seeing what happens all across the country.

- oranges, avacadoes, strawberries and lettuce (among other produce) are threatened in cali due to cold weather. i read in one spot that helicopters were used to help blow some of the escaping heat back down to keep the fruit warm - now i'll be thinking of that as i have my morning glass of OJ.

- speaking of OJ, a chapter from his recently written and destroyed book, 'if i did it' was leaked. it spelled out in detail how OJ felt he would have committed the murders of ron and nicole IF he had done it - with a lengthy note ensuring he was innocent - lest we get the wrong idea.

- speaking of near death, in new mexico, two minneapolis hikers came upon a missing woman in the gila mountains. she'd been missing for five weeks total and three weeks had passed since search and rescue parties folded up shop. they gave her some noodles a good novel to read while they hiked the 20 miles back to town. i know i don't eat much, but she had been without food for upwards of 3 weeks - and still had the strength to hold on. as far as perspective - moral here is, there's always someone in a worse spot than you. amen for her and the fellas that saved her.

- once again, speaking of near death - saddam's half brother was sent to the gallows along with another long time business associate of the deceased iraqi dictator. they were hung, and saddam's brother became decapitated during the process. not to say that the united states has a long proud history in this form of capital punishment, but i'm pretty sure we'd get this one right. hard to believe a country that still chooses to execute in this manner can have so many troubles with performing it in a civil manner with proper results. then again, hard to justify or understand much of anything that occurs in that region of the world.

those are the stories that come to mind.....after the newspaper and a little work, the day slowed down yet even more. a few emails back and forth to one friend and text messages to another got some plans put together for the evening.

first was the usual dinner at happy's house. it was a feast with the usuals - night owl and manager were there of course, but so were blondie, average carpenter and the kids. potatoes, squash, pork roast, bread, biscuits, cranberries, carrots, onions, etc, yada, yada, the end. a pile of food, drink and dessert (not that this is a surprise for the usual dinner).

text messaging during dinner added to the later plans (so i thought).

dinner over, rolled towards my car and headed home in the fridgid january air. dreamed came over to drop some stuff and watched some idol for a little while - also got a house tour and mentioned my room is 'cute'. just what guys love to hear.

dreamed headed out shopping and i dialed up pitcher to try and meet up. no answer. really starting to make me wonder just what the deal is. message left.....no response. hmmm. (why do i think so much? maybe this situation is a good example. and as long as i'm asking questions that no one buy myself will read, consider, contemplate and/or answer, why is my life so hexed that they both have to attempt to meet up at the same time? i mean seriously, there are 7 days in a freaking week, but both have to pick tonight - DAMMIT) so what is her deal anyway? screwing with me? nervous about meeting? totally not who she is? who the heck knows. maybe someday i'll find out (although with my past life experiences - and kicks in the groin, i'm guessing i won't)

so after a little boston legal - i'm hitting this blog up for a while and then getting some sleep. tomorrow - off to MSP for a couple nights with dad, reminder to self, don't forget the ear plugs. on another level, i'm keeping myself up, hoping for a return call or text. hasn't happened yet. disappointment is running high in my life right now and this isn't helping.

financially - i'm good right now. mentally - i'm pretty good right now. emotionally - it's tough every single day. did today help? hard to say. i need to get my brain into a place where all this hard stuff flows away. i know of two sure fire ways to get there.....come on phone - ring....cause it's too late to have a drink. sad...nahh. tough....heck yea. nothing worth doing is easy, but how about this? people go to weddings because they want to belive in true love - does that mean it only exists for a few? stupid thoughts - please let me sleep well tonight. good night all.

Life -- where to?

Another interesting day.

The cold brings dreams of spring and summer.
The mind knows 100 sunsets lay between.

Work provides ever so short escapes.
Home encourages rather long thoughts.

A woodstove crackles and breaks the silence.
A mirage of dreams stir the senses.

Alarm clocks signal the start.
Hot showers encourage the awakening.

Another interesting day begins.

He had a dream - tribute to MLK

Nothing fancy here today - just wanted to post the text of Martin Luther King's famous speech as a tribute.

I am stirred with both feelings of pride and sadness as I revisit this speech each year. Pride for the lengths this country has come, but sadness for the distance still remaining in the journey.

A wonderful piece. No question. Enjoy.


I Have a Dream

Martin Luther King, Jr.

(Note: The following is the text of the speech delivered by Dr. King on August 28, 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C.)

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by a sign stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.
And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.
Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies ofPennsylvania.
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:
Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

runnin' wisdom....(care of ipod)

do i enjoy working out - those that know me pretty well would probably get this one wrong - no. i have always loved sports and competition but i hate working out. i'm smart enough to know it's a necessary evil to keeping in shape and being healthy and all that good stuff....but i don't enjoy going out in the 27 degree weather for a 2 mile run - at least physically.

mentally though - i love it. nothing allows me to hammer through my thoughts like a 15 minute run around the block....especially now with my ipod shuffle. as i was finishing off my 2nd mile this afternoon, my ipod shuffled its way to a g.b. leighton song called 'one foot over'.

that is my anthem these days.....(and this blog seems to be written more by azlyrics than me at some points, but hey, that's ok)

One Foot Over -- gb leighton

Sally, Sue, Charlie and Billy too,
They all know where they’re going.
They’ve got the paper from the U of Wherever,
Up on the wall where it’s showin’

Me, I’m taking the longer less traveled
They say I could make it someday
I just don’t know what I should look for, but
Sometimes it’s funnier that way

Chorus

You Just Go
One foot over the next one, baby
‘til you reach your design
One foot over the next one, baby
Keep on walking that line

Gather round, listen up people
To the story I’m tellin’
I met a man on the highway to nowhere
Sold me all he was sellin’

Wrap it up Joe, I think I’ll take it
I’m gonna leave this old life behind
I’m searchin’ for my only freedom
I guess you’d call peace of mind

Chorus

I’ve been searchin’, looking for
Something I can show
Maybe what I hold is special
To someone, I don’t know

Turn around, stop and listen
Take a moment today
Just think about all you’ve been blessed with,
Cause Life is funny that way

Chorus

great stuff.....and maybe what i hold is special to someone i don't know. and the running parallel is great - just go one foot over the next one till you reach your design - all the while thinking about all you've been blessed with - cause life is pretty damn funny that way.

gotta love the mental side of the run - physical is a pretty good side benefit too...

so after hitting that song on the run - i'm ready to face another week....whatever crazyness it brings.

good is good.....

wierd situation - need a song to define it.....here's the best i can think of at this time of night/morning (probably because it's what is in my head right now for some reason).....a little sheryl crow.

Good is good and bad is bad
You don’t know which one you had
She put your books out on the sidewalk
Now they’re blowing ‘round
They won’t help you when you’re down

question right now - where am i at. good or bad? and yep, they won't help you when you're down.

Love’s on your list of things to do
To bring your good luck back to you
And if you think that everything’s unfair
Would you care if you’re the last one standing there

it would be on my list of things to do - if i knew if would bring the good luck back. would i care? if i was the last one standing there? (i hope i'd care)

And everytime you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightening strikes
And does it ever make you stop and wonder
If all your good times pass you by

i'd like to hope not - but i do stop and wonder

I don’t hold no mystery
But I can show you how to turn the key
Cause all I know is where I started
So downhearted
And that’s not where you want to be

so not where you want to be

And everytime you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightening strikes
And you could find a rock to crawl right under
If all your good times pass you by

When the day is done
And the world is sleeping
And the moon is on its way to shine

When your friends are gone
You thought were so worth keeping
You feel you don’t belong
And you don’t know why

friends are here....makes it a little better.....to a point i do belong, and i still don't know why.

And everytime you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightening strikes
And does it ever make you stop and wonder
If all your good times pass you by

When the day is done
And the world is sleeping
And the moon is on its way to shine

When your friends are gone
You thought were so worth keeping
You feel you don’t belong
Neither do I


are these lyrics gonna help me get sleep tonight - um, no. does anyone really care - um, no. (since no one but me reads this anyway)

I wonder, does this blog help me by allowing me a release for my thoughts - or does it hurt me by stirring the pot so to speak? i'm guessing there is a bit of both with a stronger emphasis on the latter. is that good? is that healthy? hard to say. do i learn from it - hell yea.

it's been a strange few weeks.....and tonight fit perfectly in the script that i've been acting out.

wouldn't it be nice someday to be able to just page it forward and take a peek at how it all ends?

cold cold cold......cold

ok, so we've had some nice weather - i'll give you that, but this cold sucks.

if global warming is what brought us the nice temps we had in november and december, i say bring me a pile of coal and i'll burn it in my backyard to help out.

it's not that i don't like winter - in fact, i really like to snowmobile and be outside - but we only have a couple inches of snow, so it's pretty useless at this point.

on the other side, my house is mid 70's right now and our furnace hasn't been on in a couple days - we've been using our wood stove to heat the place and it's working great....got a good source of 2x4 scraps, so pretty cheap heat.

still though - can't wait till april

up is down, down is up.....

denny crane. the man knows his stuff. sometimes up is down and vice-versa.

what i wouldn't give to be able at the end of the day to sit on the balcony with a drink (and i suppose a cigar) overlooking the city and unwind. and since we're in dream world - all the weight would float from my shoulders and i'd hit the sack like a child. maybe i'll get to that more in the summer - a little nippy out there to do that now.

i guess it doesn't matter what the method of unwinding is, even if it's this little place called blogger. but whatever the outlet, it is needed on a day like this. expectations were made and then shot down with no explanation whatsoever.

should i have learned from the last time? yes. did i? probably a little....i was a little more restrained in the expectations, but still was pretty excited to meet up. nevertheless, try #2 brought a repeat of result #1.

nervous? that busy? just a tease? not that i have a basis for my feeling, but i think (or maybe i'd like to think) none of the above. i hope nothing is seriously wrong, but considering the circumstances, it is a possibility (and if so - my sincere wishes are with them).

are my thoughts selfish? am i just looking for what i think i'm missing? am i building it up too much? all valid questions to consider - just hopefully not for the next 3 hours trying to get to sleep.

ahh yes....gotta love the brain. but the good news - thursday is up next, then friday, then some good rest and football (and a little painting). and the thoughts of that keeps me as unwound as i need to be for now. good night all....

contentedness (and other made up words)

so i've settled down from my mental rollercoaster ride of a week ago to a state of contentedness. not sure if that's a real word, but i'm going with it. it must be like the feeling that britney spears had when she felt comfortable enough to go out and public and show off all her junk (and yes, i've seen the pics, junk is a good description). or like joe namath when he thought, "man, i'm in a great place in life - in fact, i think i'll tell suzy kolber tonight on monday night football that i'd like to kiss her". not that i'm about to do something that crazy, but i at least have the brainwaves at bay for just a little while anyway.

funny how things go up and down so quick....one day this way, then - as emeril might say - "bam", a full 180 to something else. i suppose i'm old enough to understand that this is the way life works, but every once in a while i get that smack in the face wakeup that reminds me that life can be wonderfully hard (another strange combo of words).

it always comes back to perspective. when my perspective slips a bit, expectations get a smidge high and then a bit of discontentedness (i think i've ran out of prefixes and endings for that one now) shows up just long enough to piss a person off - like an annoying guest. and always, just when things seem to be back to where i am handling well, a good surprise happens.

we'll see what wednesday brings.....from my earlier contact, i've already had (and overcome) the overexpectations, so am keeping my hopes a big restrained. should be good, but we'll see.

just amazing the difference in my life from only a week ago.

2007 is starting out trying to make a name for itself - and i gotta respect it for that.

kicking it....

week 1 of the nfl playoffs has ended and, thank god, a kicker actually made a clutch field goal (and even in the rain). i'm a big fantasy football guy and, must i say it, a vikings fan, so i'm not overly interested in who wins the games - i'm just looking for an entertaining game to watch.

today wasn't too bad - gotta love seeing both nyc teams lose. not gonna lie to any of you east coasters, but everyone here in minnesota would have a hard time choosing what is more fun - watching our team win or any of your overpriced teams lose. so seeing the j-e-t-s and g-men packing up for the year in a way made my day.

i don't feel too much differently about 'america's team' yesterday. believe me, this is good for the nfl. the only people that want to see any more of jeremy shockey or terrell owens this year is, well, either jeremy shockey, terrell owens, or half crazy. i'd rather see the good stories - shaun alexander, jeff garcia, tom brady -- and that's what we'll get next week.

Vegas Vacation - day 2: big time

day 2 in vegas - otherwise known as 'thursday' - was a good one. the trip was only to be a 3 night stay and day 2 became the best one of the trip. after the events of the previous day - http://jaymcee15.blogspot.com/2007/01/vegas-vacation-day-1-arrival.html - not too much sleep was needed. up and at 'em by 9ish local time (which is 11ish in northland time). the five of us headed downstairs to the "emperor's buffet" for a little breakfast. as far as emperors go, this buffet was about the equivalent of lord farquard. plenty of bacon and eggs - but a little short on anything special. i guess for a $9.99 vegas center strip buffet, it was about what we really should have expected anyway.

next on the agenda was for casanova and i to show junior the north end of the strip (and to walk off some of the emperor's bacon strips). swinging through casino royale for a 10am $1 margarita on the way up got us moving towards the venetian. as far as the epitome of vegas construction spending, the venetian has to be it. landscaping, porticos, frescos - just ridiculous. not to mention the addition under construction that will be plenty big enough to house the refugees from the next katrina. for a construction guy - it's hard to walk around and be amazed by the sheer volume of massive stuff being built all the time.

we stroll through the venetian on the way to the wynn and junior notes at both places, 'now, this is a casino'. along with the bellagio, that trio of properties is top notch. they are vain to such a point that the wynn apparently would rather put down a field turf type product on their grounds and vacuum it rather than attempt to raise grass in the desert. (note that it took the three of us, who play a fair amount of golf, a couple minutes to decide if it was real grass or not)

crossing over lv blvd and heading back south we passed the mirage and ti on the way to the forum shops. junior was amazed by the sheer size of the indoor market. i was once again amazed that said shops make sales. it seems that each spot is a 10,000 sq.ft shop displaying about 12 to 15 items.....all apparently in either 'skinny' or 'anorexic' sizes. we did no actual shopping of course since i have no interest in the intricacies of a second mortgage at this point in my life.

finally our stroll brought us to the crown jewel of the strip which in my estimation is the bellagio. we headed towards the conservatory to see what type of flora display was up at this point of the year. in any other situation the next sentence might seem odd, but not so much here. the first thing i spotted was a set of flying reindeer constructed out of 600# of whole pecans in the shell. those along with the 50 ft christmas tree and thousands of poinsettias were quite the sight.

the walk combined with the bacon's intestinal progress pretty much made it nap-30 by the time we got back to the room. afterwords it was getting to be dinnerish time. big show suggested (at the advice of his parents) we eat at the stratosphere's top of the world restaurant. gambler called up (at 5:00) for an 8:00 reservation with casanova's phone under junior's name and with his own cc number as collateral that'd we'd show. apparently, house rule #1 is no cancellations within 4 hours of a reservation or $10/per person will be charged to the card. i decided to check out the review for the restaurant online and the first sentence found was, "this is one of the most expensive restaurants in las vegas...." and that's saying something.

so, instead of shelling out all our cash on a single meal, gambler dials them back up and attempts to cancel - but the alternative lifestyle employee reminds us of house rule #1. gambler plays by the rules and moves the reservation back to 9:00.....then asks if we may cancel - the clerk whiningly agrees we now meet rule #1 without the penalty....

with still no firm decision on dining location, we all get dressed up and partake in some high class pregame sipping and photo shots. finally - outback steakhouse is decided on. fun and exciting choice - not really. good beef and potatoes place - you betcha. plus, hard to beat $4 22ouncers on the strip (that's beer not beef at that price). casanova, big show and gambler stayed traditional with the steaks while junior and i went with a prime rib that still had a faint heartbeat. during beverage number 2, junior thought it good to shroud himself in napkins and ended up with a solid 90% coverage - and thus the ability to eat as if he were from alabama.

after dinner - we moved on to the casino where gambler and casanova tried their hands at some blackjack switch (playing two hands at once and being allowed to switch cards between them). the rules make it sound like an advantage is had - but the house busts on 23+ and pushes on 22 - so the advantage is reined right back in - surprise, surprise.

moving on to the bellagio for the initial installment of my vegas tradition. the self-imposed rules were simple: $100 in a $5 slot. 20 pulls. cash out whatever remained. simple enough - but i had to cheat. i broke rule #2 after going up $440 after my 13th pull. i cashed it all out right there and didn't gamble a nickel past that point. (final trip cost including all expenses - $75 - gotta love that)

after a few more drinks (well, for some of us, quite a few more drinks) in the room - we headed back to see the blonde piano twins. only half of the pair was working, but with the amount we'd had, that was ok with us. after a short while, we were all sitting front row and having a heck of a time as they played all the classics - piano man, bon jovi, journey, etc.

during the show - casanova was partaking moreso than the rest and accordingly had to visit the restroom a few times. first time back he had found some 'urinal chips' - about $25 worth (perfectly sanitary i'm sure) next trip he turned that into about $75 at the tables. third time back he was up to $375. after a $25 request for tiny dancer (NOT an appropriate theme song for the rest of the night) - "it's like free money" he said - he still had $350 in his pocket and a little blood left in the alcohol stream....and what happens in vegas stays in vegas.

after the pianos went silent for the night - casanova and i went to cash in his remaining chips. i jokingly suggest he put it all on red for a thrill. i wouldn't have let him do it, but he did drop $50 of it at the blackjack table on the way towards the cashier. down to $300. the lack of open cashier's windows and the line that resulted didn't sit well with the impatient casanova. he gave me 1 of his black chips to cash out - i talked him into giving me another - while he went back to the table and donated the 3rd back. down to $200 - finally in cash form. finally heading back to the room - a $5 slot machine was spotted. "just give me 5 pulls and i'll cash out" down to $175. (looking back at this - i feel somewhat responsible - well, not that much i guess)

all in all, a very good day. to sum it up....

emperor's breakfast buffet...........$9.99
2 beers and steak at outback.......$35
5 beers + tip at the piano bar.......$35
a little drunk gambling..................$175
tap on shoulder and a dance......priceless

Vegas Vacation - day 1: arrival

the ride began on wednesday. big show arrived to pick up gambler, casanova, junior and myself to head to the airport. after arriving, and while waiting in the check in line, junior decided it better to toss his tube of chapstick rather than deal with the wrath of the TSA. at that point, i sure felt safer - with only the threat of other passenger's dry lips to concern myself with.

an uneventful flight passed with a mid-afternoon vegas arrival. thanks to a somali cabbie who seemed to know less about the area geographically than i, our ride to the center strip took about twice as long as it should have. irregardless, junior and i checked in (being on a bit of a budget, only one room was reserved - thus two beds, but that's an issue to touch on later). after a bit of miscommunication as to the room number - casanova and the others met up and that's how the five for two deal was done.

after a couple of warmup cocktails in the room - it was time for some dinner. in hopes of viewing some pink birds with our dinner, we headed towards the hilton's buffet line. the price scared us across the hall to the sit down cafe (with no flamingo view). after a pretty standard meal - including casanova's elaine-esque order of a big salad - about 80% of us were ready to look for a spot to donate a few bucks back to keep the lights on in town. nothing special to say about the gambling from day 1 other than gambler (who was a vegas rookie) did pretty good - and i remember thinking that wasn't going to be good for him later.

on to the fountains. with our usual center pool sidewalk spot taken up by the techies that run the bellagio's main attraction, we were forced to stand off to the side by at least 10 feet (really that's not such a bad deal - but considering this has been my mecca for the past few years, it just wasn't the same). after a couple shows from the ground, junior, gambler and big show decided to check it out from a spot i haven't tried yet - the top of the effiel tower. casanova and myself toughed out a couple more shows in the chilly january desert night - at least it was calm out so the big guns could be fired was up in the air. satisfying enough to see the best show in vegas, but i've never experienced such cold weather on the strip.

on the way back to the hotel, shortcutting through harrah's brought us to the best dueling pianos show i've ever seen. casanova told us of a set of blonde identical twins who could tickle the ivories with the best of them after his last trip out west - and he was not exagurating. we stopped for a few songs and decided that we'd be back the next night in shall we say better shape to enjoy the show to it's fullest.

met back up with the others at the room by about 2am local time (or 4am home time) that meant i'd been up for pushing 22 hours with only a short nap on the plane to help out. i was tired enough to volunteer to rest my head on the floor while the others shared the two beds. generous of me? yes. smart of me? no. comfortable? um.....no, but i'm sure it was good for my back.

needless to say - we made it safe and sound, day 1 was over with day 2 to bring much, much more that even we couldn't have foreseen......

shut off, brain! where's the damn 'yada wool'?

I've always been this way -- think think think think think......and think some more. At times, it works out. Most of the time though, it sucks. I'm always looking for the underlying meaning - the deeper purpose - the masked intent. 'Why did I say that', 'why did she do this', 'where am I headed', 'who will I see'.....as Elaine would say, "yada, yada, yada". At times I wish I could pull the mental 'yada wool' over my thoughts - if only for a day or two. Note to self: question #1 for God - 'in all your wisdom, why no mental on/off switch?'

The only ways I've found to do that thusfar in my life is either to turn into a workaholic or have a few drinks. Through high school, college and now into adult life, it's always been work hard at school/office and also in the gym or on the field. Is that healthy? It is productive....that's for sure, but how helpful is it really? All that's really acomplished as far as the initial problem is delaying the inevitable. Alcohol doesn't help much either - costs money and time and sleep, but just delays the end. I'm a nerd, I know, and anyone reading this most likely doesn't know me anyway - but these types of thoughts remind me of the McGraw song --

In my home town
For anyone who sticks around
You're either lost or you're found
There's not much in between

In my home town
Everything's still black and white
It's a long, long way from wrong to right
From Sunday morning to Saturday night

Everybody just wants to get high
Sit and watch a perfect world go by
We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives
We follow the roads that lead us
To drugs or Jesus

My whole life
I've tried to run, I've tried to hide
From the stained glass windows in my mind
Refusing to let God's light shine
Down on me
Down on me

Everybody just wants to get high
Sit and watch a perfect world go by
We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives
There's not much space between us
Drugs or Jesus

Everybody wants acceptance
We all just want some proof
Everyone's just looking for the truth
Everybody just wants to get high
Sit and watch a perfect world go by
We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives
We follow the roads that lead us
To drugs or Jesus

Fitting song for this point in my life. I'm almost always at a nice even keel - with the occassional rediculous highs always followed by crashing lows. So true - everybody wants acceptance, we all just want some proof. Everyone's just looking for the truth.

Amazing how far a brain can take a person - hs, bs, ms, music, travel, books, computers, yada, yada, yada but as much as mine tries - it's having little luck coming up with the truth timmy sings about. So the question is, where am I? Have I chosen the drugs? Have I (to a point) given up on Jesus? Tough questions to contemplate, much less answer - but if anyone's noggin is up to analyzing....

I'm headed to vegas tomorrow with the guys for a mid-winter warm up. Sure it hasn't been cold here at all, but nevertheless (don't get me wrong - it'll still be significantly warmer down there). Question #2: 'why can't I leave my brain at home?' It's time for a break from my thoughts, hopefully it won't take a dozen vodka sours to get me there.

If the big guy is on my side - all the release my overworked brain needs will be provided by one of my favorite, if not my all time favorite, places to be - center stage for the Fountains of Bellagio.

And back to it again....thinking thinking thinking thinking - dammit. Maybe I'll do some situps and pushups till I fall asleep.

happy new year?

a good week? a great week? less than that? or maybe more? christmas to new years is always a good time, sure it's not like the old school breaks with a few extra days off between the two, but we all have to grow up at some time. the work between just accentuates the appreciation for the bookend holidays. i'll have to look back and decide after the cards all are played out just how this season ranked with the rest.

the holiday parties and gatherings have past - no major surprises there (although there were some world events to remember - gerald ford, saddam and a brown christmas come to mind). for the most part the family and friends that planned to travel made it (like the post office - neither rain nor wind nor snow....even if DEN was involved), and those that weren't sent their best. gifts were given - time was spent - r and r (when possible) was enjoyed. new beginnings - maybe? at a minimum - a deeper friendship with a great person developed.

lessons for the new year? - testing one's limits: worthwhile, appreciating what we have while it is here: necessity, recognizing and seizing all opportunity: sometimes difficult, but always something to strive for.

2006 was a good one - house, job, friends, family. 2007 has all the potential to be even better.

up and running....maybe?

i've always meant to start this - and no better time for beginnings than the turning of the new year. what will my blogs bring? won't be all cut and paste news - although i may comment on current events. won't be all personal events - i'm sure some of that will be alluded to though. won't be all embellished stories - rather will likely be a combo of all the above. funny at times, serious at times, probably a tad boring at times if you don't know me, but in the end - a space for thoughts, memories, questions, sharing and reflection. hopefully a regular occurence - but no promises - no intent to become a slave to it....just shooting to use as necessary. enjoy and feel free to comment if you'd like.